Dear teens:
If something has been on your mind or you’ve been experiencing some tough emotions, one of the worst things you can do is bury those nagging feelings and avoid talking about them. Even the smallest, most trivial worries can mushroom into debilitating fears.
It’s important to intentionally make time for talking. Yes, talking!
Talking with someone you trust is a low stress, low commitment way to get things off your chest. Lots of people tend to do this naturally, but it’s not always easy for everyone to open up. Here are three ideas to get started:
Chat with Family or Friends
Who are your cheerleaders? The ones who love and care for you the most? Seeking support from close family and friends might be the first stop on this journey. However, even when you’ve got a solid foundation of trust, it can still be hard to get in the right headspace to be open and vulnerable. Sometimes friends and family members will jump right to solutions, so be prepared to receive advice, and know that you may not always agree with it. You could also ask them to simply listen because you just need the space to vent and would love to just be listened to. Knowing your audience also helps you gauge how much you want to share, and the kinds of responses you might get.
Connect with a Peer Mentor
Unlike traditional mentoring programs like Big Brothers Big Sisters of America, cross-age peer mentoring pairs youth with other (slightly older) youth who have genuine interest in lending an ear and helping others. For example, UpStreet connects teens in Western Pennsylvania with trained peer mentors through a texting platform. You might be surprised to learn there are peer mentoring programs set up to help cope with specific situations, from learning differences to gang pressures. Peer mentoring is growing in popularity but may take some sleuthing to find the right fit. Your school counselor is a good place to start, and Mentoring.org’s search tool is another good starting point for ideas. There, you can search by zip code and select “Peer” to find the right type of mentor.
Talk to a Therapist.
Recent stats from public health authorities show that one out of every ten kids have received counseling or therapy. Talking to a professional is a good idea when you’re dealing with issues that are more than you can handle or that are stopping you from doing things you normally enjoy. Sometimes, only a few sessions with a therapist can make a huge impact and help you get back on track.
There is a key difference between talking to friends or family and talking to peer mentors or therapists. With peer mentors and therapists, there is a big focus on boundaries to keep the relationship working. The engagements are focused on you—unpacking your challenges and working on your overall well-being. Unlike a friendship or family member relationship, it’s more of a one-way street.
About JFCS Pittsburgh Youth Services
Jewish Family and Community Services (JFCS) Pittsburgh is committed to supporting youth and young adults achieve their goals and secure a strong future. For more information about education, workforce development, and mental health support services available, please call JFCS Youth Services at (412) 422-7200 or visit www.jfcspgh.org/youth-services.